Overall Rating
  Awesome: 34.34%
Worth A Look: 21.21%
Just Average: 7.58%
Pretty Crappy: 14.65%
Sucks: 22.22%
10 reviews, 138 user ratings
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| 300 |
by Todd LaPlace
"Seriously, Frank?"
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Apparently “300” isn’t the most complex movie ever. I don’t think I took my first note until a half hour into the movie, and even then it was to just write “overgrown epic” (look for it to pop up below!). My friend Lisa noticed my writing and asked if I was simply writing the word “bad” in big letters. She also had to leave the movie a half hour early to go collect her master’s degree. I guess that proves it; higher education does make you smarter.Perhaps it’s just the nature of the beast in our post-Playstation society, but I’m a little concerned that the folk behind “300,” an overgrown battle epic based on a Frank Miller graphic novel, are more concerned with crafting a video game than a movie. There’s an outline of a story that does little more than lead into and out of the 480 B.C. battle of Thermopylae, where King Leonidas (Gerald Butler) leads a group of 300 men against the vast and diverse horde of soldiers Persia has brought in order to secure the conquering of Sparta. But really, this movie is about violence. Pure, graphic, excessive, highly stylized violence. And now all this violence can be yours on the PSP for the low price of $29.99! Available now!
On paper, this reaction to “300” makes no sense. Ask any die-hard comic book fan about Frank Miller and the only response you’d get is awestruck reverence. In addition to creating “300,” Miller is the man behind “Sin City,” a highly acclaimed run on Marvel’s “Daredevil” in the ’80s (which includes creating, killing and resurrecting an Elektra not resembling Jennifer Garner) and “Batman: The Dark Knight Returns,” a four-part miniseries widely regarded as one of the greatest comic series ever. But then again, ask any die-hard horror movie fan about George Romero and the reaction would probably be similar, thanks in large part to the anti-consumerist “Dawn of the Dead.” What’s the connection, you’re probably wondering? That would be “300” director Zack Snyder, whose only previous significant credit is the overrated “Dawn of the Dead” remake, which sacrifices the symbolism for pure, graphic, excessive, highly stylized violence. I have to admit that I like it when a director is so consistent with his work that the same adjectives easily apply. It makes my hatchet job on this flick so much easier.
When a messenger from the Persian empire travels to Sparta to inform them of King Xerxes’ (Rodrigo Santoro) impending arrival (to conquer, not for tea), he is greeted by Leonidas who yells the laughable “This is Sparta!” in his face before kicking him into a conveniently-placed giant pit. Having been raised to never give up and never surrender, Leonidas quickly embraces his bloodlust and asks Sparta’s ephors (five disfigured men who served as the city-state’s highest magistrates) to mobilize the army for as assault at Thermopylae, or “hot gates,” a coastal area that would give the fewer Greek warriors a boost against the millions of Persians on their way. But when the half-naked oracle (Kelly Craig) foresees the Greeks losing, the ephors refuse Leonidas’s request for an army assault, leaving the king to gather 300 of the fiercest Spartan warriors as his “bodyguards” to go to Thermopylae alone to fend off the Persians. I’m sure a battle plan that reasonable will work, right?
As Leonidas marches away to battle, his wife Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey) quietly attempts to gain favor with the remaining politicians, in the hope that they’ll send reinforcements before Leonidas is killed. Her fiercest opponent is Theron (Dominic West of “The Wire”), who agrees to help her cause in exchange for sexual favors. I’m sure a deal that reasonable will work, right?
Oh, and in another little unnecessary side story, Leonidas is confronted by Ephialtes (Andrew Tiernan), a deformed Spartan hoping to reinstate his family’s disgraced name by joining the ranks, but because of his deformity, he is unable to perform up to Leonidas’s standards and is turned away. I’m sure an explanation that reasonable will work, right?
Having already mentioned that this film is just about violence, you might wonder why I even bothered to go through that much plot summary. It’s simply because that’s all the plot there is, and although it’s still completely pointless, it’s rich in its unnecessary complexities. All of the stories are technically related, but they’re little more than a chance to escape the pure, graphic, excessive, highly stylized violence. Believe me, you’ll appreciate them when the time comes.
The battle itself is well choreographed and well photographed, but there’s a noticeable lack of anything deeper. It seems to liberally borrow from slick flicks before it without getting the key elements that make those sequences work. It lacks the excessive richness of “Sin City,” the cartoonish playfulness of “Kill Bill” and the delicate beauty of “Hero.” Instead, the homoerotic, bronzed, half-naked men run around a consistently drab and beige battlefield in slow motion, occasionally thrusting spears and swords into their generic and often identical enemies until the Persians send a group of stylistically different warriors that are made up of generic and often identical members. Once again, they seem to be the kind of battles that were planned to look good in a video game. The rhino, elephants and armed giant will all obviously appear as level bosses, while the individual members of the cloned horde are so similar, they can easy pass for the seemingly endless stream of easily-beaten foes. And just like a video game, dispatching them quickly becomes tedious and boring as hell.
On an Entertainment Weekly cover about “300,” the magazine claims that they’ll take us “inside the making of a surprise smash.” I’m still not sure why they think the completely predictable success of an action movie with a massive advertising budget is a “surprise.” It’s an overgrown action epic from the guys behind “Dawn of the Dead” and “Sin City.” Factor in the few nude scenes (mostly topless women, although Butler’s butt sneaks in there too) and you’ve got the non-porn teen male wet dream. Luckily for the film, they’re also the group least likely to be critical of the film, which means they’ll probably all love it, while the rest of us wonder why we fell for such obvious crap.I know a big deal has been made in other articles about the possible political nature of the film. Both Leonidas and Xerxes have been called allusions of Dubya, depending on which side of aisle you’re on. I think it’s more interesting to notice the timing of the film’s release. What does it say that an audience for “300” was found now, as the desire and support for a real war is fading? Feel free to ponder that question while watching “300” — it’s infinitely more interesting than the actual movie.
link directly to this review at http://hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=15601&reviewer=401
originally posted: 03/18/07 23:16:14
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USA
09-Mar-2007 (R)
DVD: 31-Jul-2007
UK
23-Mar-2007 (15)
DVD: 01-Oct-2007
Australia
05-Apr-2007 (MA)
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